Saturday, 21 April 2012

Operation Get Steamed: Mission Overview

Despite heavy casualties and an outbreak of post traumatic lightweight syndrome (PTLS), the recent completion of Operation 'Dry Roasted', and the unscheduled follow up; Operation 'Exceedingly Good Friday', has led O.A.P (Occasional Afternoon Pisshead) command to declare that West Wolverhampton has now been totally conquered. Congratulations, soldiers, you've done your country proud.

However, a soldier's work is never done as they say, and the top brass has now set a new target for invasion - The Severn Valley.

This mission will test our troops to their very limits as the planned assault will take place over a wide ranging terrain, occupied by suspicious country hicks, slightly inbred looking locals and a diverse mix of real ale hostelries.

Due to the distances involved in this mission, tackling the proposed route will involve the use of the rail network - known locally as the Severn Valley Railway. The steam powered locomotives will be transporting troops to three distinct destinations, before finally arriving in the stronghold fortress known as Bridgenorth. Due to the heavy reliance on this antiquated rail system, the mission has been christened Operation 'Get Steamed'

Mission parameters are as per usual - navigate the designated route, incorporating a brief skirmish in every selected incursion zone and make it to the ex-filtration point in one piece. Failure is not an option.

As ever, your mission command will be as follows:

Maj. S.Cartwright - Callsign: 'The Beard'

 Maj. R.Bladon- Callsign: 'The Blade'

Maj. J.Hickens - Callsign: 'Chest-night'

Maj. J.McFarland - Callsign: 'Boat-man'

Maj. P.Dutton - Callsign: 'the Metal'

In addition, an effective recruitment drive has now led to a surge in new O.A.P officers, who will shortly be joining the esteemed ranks of the OAP senior command. New officers include:
    1. Cpt L.Dutton - Callsign: 'The JagerBomber'
    2. Cpt K.Stoten - Callsign 'Cupcake'
    3. Cpt C.Sambrook - Callsign 'Safehands'
      The ranks of the OAPs have been further swelled by a large intake of one mission grunts. Truly the military might of the OAPs is more fearsome than ever before

    The Route


    Aerial Flyover (plugin required)

    Checkpoint list:

    Further intel on checkpoints 1-9 can be obtained here:

    View Operation Get Steamed in a larger map
    1. The Red Lion Bewdley
    2. The Harbour Inn
    3. The Ship Inn
    4. The Railwayman's Arms
    5. The Old Castle
    6. The White Lion
    7. The Black Boy Inn
    8. The Black Horse
    9. The Vine
    Rations detail -  Many of the checkpoints offer a fine range of local cuisine, but the delicacies found at checkpoint 3 appear to stand out from the rest in terms of quality and unit cost per troop member.

    Unlike previous missions, due to the heavy reliance of vehicular transportation, timing will be all important while traversing the first 4 checkpoints. Although some slippage should be expected due to effects ranging from extensive banter, quiz machine lock in and SDS (slow drinking syndrome), failure to adhere to the mission schedule would result in extensive periods of walking up hills, beer fatigue and probable bouts of vomiting. As such OAP command has issued the following timetable:

    As the proposed 16 skirmish onslaught involved in Operation Dry Roasted, proved to be logistically unsound, mission command has scaled back operations to an optimum engagement quota, hence the new checkpoint total of 9. Nevertheless, the distance to be covered, coupled with the fact that the relative safety of Fortress Wolverhampton will be unreachable during the mission will make Operation Get Steamed a potentially deadly undertaking. In addition, the wide variety of transportation methods required to ensure the success of this mission and the necessity to interact with local civilians will surely test the wits of our troops to their very limits.

    Have no doubt about it. We're gonna be going dark on this one. We're gonna be deep in the heart of Charlie's stronghold and if the shit hits the fan, we're going to need to be goddamn prepared for anything!

    • No of Checkpoints - 9
    • Total Mission Distance - 17.2miles
    • Average Distance between checkpoints - 1.72miles
    • Maximum Distance between any two checkpoints - 7.32miles (cp3 -cp4)
    • 17.2 mile distance
    • Missing trains
    • Broken down trains
    • Getting thrown off trains
    • Getting hit by trains
    • Falling out of trains
    • Losing train tickets
    • Trains
    • Boatman's bladder
    • COD-eye affliction
    • The beer sniper (continues to be the scourge of the Occasional Afternoon Piss-heads)
    • U.D.I's (Unidentified Drunken Injuries)
    • Disgruntled locals
    • Kidney Failure
    • Crossing roads 
    Finally, at the request of Maj Mcfarland, troops are be equipped with a new technology known as the C-RAIL (Can for the Rail). Our R&D unit in Brinsford has designed the device which is strikingly similar to the already tried and tested C-ROAD (Can for the Road). The C-RAIL is an liquid-incendiary device, akin to a fragmentation grenade. A simple pin located on top of the device will need to be operated via the 'pull technique' (explained below) to activate the device. Please note that once 'live' the C-RAIL may excrete fizzy liquid, which is harmful to those in the immediate vicinity.

    All mission intel is still to be sanctioned by O.A.P command. For validation of mission dates and confirmation of troop participation, please contact Mission HQ

    'Beard' out.

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