Friday, 11 November 2011

Operation Dry Roasted: Mission Overview

Following the successful conquests of Tettenhall, Compton and Finchfield during Operation Pork Scratching, the top brass is now recommending that we set our sights on the areas known as Penn and Bradmore. Detailed route mapping will follow, but be warned gentleman, this may be our toughest assignment yet. We have limited Intel on many of the hot spots earmarked for incursion and locals are to be treated as hostile unless clearly identified as otherwise. We're going in via Chinook, with the first stop high in the Wolverhampton hills. It's gonna be a long hard slog, but if anyone can do it, we can.

Mission parameters are as per usual - navigate the designated route, incorporating a brief skirmish in every selected incursion zone and make it to the exfiltration point in one piece. Failure is not an option.

On an added note, due to the timing of this mission, weather conditions may prove difficult. Troops should be prepared for Alpine Warfare conditions and should plan accordingly.

As ever, your mission command will be as follows:

Maj. Steve Cartwright - Callsign: 'The Beard'

Maj. Richard Bladon- Callsign: 'The Blade'

Maj. James Hickens - Callsign: 'Chest-night'

Maj. James McFarland - Callsign: 'Boat-man'

Maj. Paul Dutton - Callsign: 'the Metal'

The Route

Checkpoint list (click to view):

This proposed route through the urban jungle of Penn and Bradmore and into the Capital itself will incorporate an unprecedented 16 checkpoints. Compare this to the 11 official checkpoints that formed the mission schedule for Operation Pork Scratching, and you're looking at one unforgiving bitch of a trek through hostile territory. The 'Unholy Trinity' skirmishes that denote the final assault on Wolverhampton City Centre will be a particular grueling series of battles, fought in quick succession. Heavy casualties are to be expected:


  • No of Checkpoints - 16
  • Total Mission Distance - 4.71miles
  • Average Distance between checkpoints - 0.314miles
  • Maximum Distance between checkpoints - 0.92miles (cp6 -cp7)


  • Number of Checkpoints
  • 4.71 mile distance
  • Boatman's bladder
  • The beer sniper (continues to be the scourge of the Occasional Afternoon Piss-heads)
  • U.D.I's (Unidentified Drunken Injuries)
  • Disgruntled locals
  • Kidney Failure
  • Crossing roads
  • Possible Arctic conditions

Aerial Flyover - Route starts at 28sec (google plugin may be required):

All mission intel is still to be sanctioned by O.A.P command. For validation of mission dates and confirmation of troop participation, please contact Mission HQ

'Beard' out.

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